The unpredictability of Life

At times in your life, you realize how important it is to express. To speak before its too late. to let the other person know how important they are to you.

I wish there was a way I could bring my Chacha back.. wish there was a way I could change things, change things for him.. And let him know that he didn't die unloved and uncared for.

Its so difficult to make peace with the fact that he lived such a dual life.. And once again, there are so many questions that he left unanswered.. Its difficult to live with the letters that i sent him, which he's still preserved, and the fact that the only person he ever talked about was me.. And that he called me on new years day perhaps knowing all too well that it was the last time he could wish me that..

Bought a keepsake today from what he left behind. As a remembrance, and as a constant reminder of who he wanted me to be.

I wish there was a way I could tell you that I loved you Chacha, and you shall always be missed.. Missed so so much..

And, I still end up calling your number just coz I dont have the strength to delete it yet..